"Can you imagine?!" she whispered hoarsely as she leaned toward me over her coffee. "For years I thought I was the only one with this problem." The mixture of fervor and relief in her voice was palpable. I had simply mentioned to my old friend in passing that I was working for an adult diapers distributor and she took this as her cue to unburden about her struggle with incontinence.
We were sitting in some worn cafeteria chairs at a high school reunion neither of us thought we would manage to make. But here I was, seated beside my dear high school confidante, Sherry B. Why I had never made the effort to get in touch with her during the lapsed decades was beyond me. She was such a vibrant soul, despite the physical changes that were impossible to ignore. So many youthful friendships are dropped at the end of high school when everyone goes off in different directions, there was nothing unusual about this case either. But perhaps back when I was about 20 and my mother mentioned that Sherry had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I just didn't know what to do with the news and wouldn't touch the distance between us. But here was Sherry with canes clipped to her arms and sporting the same old broad grin as ever.
It was as though certain aspects of time had stood still and we related to each other as easily as ever. We did the customary flip through each other's family albums and gave a quick bio for each of our children. Then she asked me what I was doing now that the kids had pretty much flown the coop. That is how the subject of adult diapers worked into the conversation and she certainly sparked to it. It seemed like the practical aspects of managing incontinence was pretty much old hat to her by now, but there still was a deep need to talk about it with an old high school confidante, one who found the subject to be in her comfort zone.
"Imagine trying to hide your stash of adult diapers from your teenage kids and their friends", she said with a slight smile, "You know how teenagers are always looking to make a joke out of anything. I live in a small ranch with one bathroom. There's not a lot of hiding places." She drew a damp circle on her napkin with a coffee stirrer. "I can't tell you the shame and fear I felt when I first realized that I had lost control of such a basic function. But you know, it was my kids who really helped me push beyond that. They really needed me to."
"Flip on the TV now, pick up a magazine, and it seems the whole world is suddenly talking about adult diapers, pull-ups and pads. Now you, my old buddy, tell me that you make a living in the business. What's happening?" she asked.
I wish Sherry could understand how much respect I had for her, after looking at those pictures. I wondered how she managed to deal with raising those three little boys to where they are now, while coping with whatever wrench her MS unpredictably threw into the works. She had managed to steer clear of self-absorption; her children, her travelling here today, her interest in my family, all testified to this strength. How dull I was in comparison. And as dullards will do, I launched into systematically answering her question about America's growing incontinence concerns. I thought she needed to know why she didn't have an exclusive corner on adult diapers market.
It is estimated that the first half of this century will see a 147% increase of senior citizens, people ages 65 and up. With their projected increase of life span, this means that a lot more Americans than ever before have already started to size up adult diapers. Incontinence is not an uncommon factor in aging and a social leveler, not choosy in its victims. I told Sherry that her positive attitude about the subject was something more people should profit from, that she should be an inspiration to people struggling with adapting to this new physical circumstance. Her insights and wisdom should be blogged and podcasted. I caught myself on this roll, realizing I hadn't really left my work at the office this weekend.
Thank goodness I stopped to take a breath. It was then that I noticed that my friend was fading in her chair. She had not flown hundreds of miles, enduring airports and airplanes with her two canes and a wheelchair to have someone tell her how she needed to champion a cause. She was here to gain strength from some familiar old faces she recognized from a time when she had known fewer cares. And what she was wanting right this moment was a guiding hand on her wheel chair on the way to the ladies' room. "Just wheel it to the door and dump the cripple in," she instructed. I stopped in my tracks, stunned at her words, until I caught a glimpse of her teasing smirk. Attitude is everything and Sherry, baby, you've got the right stuff. - 16890
We were sitting in some worn cafeteria chairs at a high school reunion neither of us thought we would manage to make. But here I was, seated beside my dear high school confidante, Sherry B. Why I had never made the effort to get in touch with her during the lapsed decades was beyond me. She was such a vibrant soul, despite the physical changes that were impossible to ignore. So many youthful friendships are dropped at the end of high school when everyone goes off in different directions, there was nothing unusual about this case either. But perhaps back when I was about 20 and my mother mentioned that Sherry had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I just didn't know what to do with the news and wouldn't touch the distance between us. But here was Sherry with canes clipped to her arms and sporting the same old broad grin as ever.
It was as though certain aspects of time had stood still and we related to each other as easily as ever. We did the customary flip through each other's family albums and gave a quick bio for each of our children. Then she asked me what I was doing now that the kids had pretty much flown the coop. That is how the subject of adult diapers worked into the conversation and she certainly sparked to it. It seemed like the practical aspects of managing incontinence was pretty much old hat to her by now, but there still was a deep need to talk about it with an old high school confidante, one who found the subject to be in her comfort zone.
"Imagine trying to hide your stash of adult diapers from your teenage kids and their friends", she said with a slight smile, "You know how teenagers are always looking to make a joke out of anything. I live in a small ranch with one bathroom. There's not a lot of hiding places." She drew a damp circle on her napkin with a coffee stirrer. "I can't tell you the shame and fear I felt when I first realized that I had lost control of such a basic function. But you know, it was my kids who really helped me push beyond that. They really needed me to."
"Flip on the TV now, pick up a magazine, and it seems the whole world is suddenly talking about adult diapers, pull-ups and pads. Now you, my old buddy, tell me that you make a living in the business. What's happening?" she asked.
I wish Sherry could understand how much respect I had for her, after looking at those pictures. I wondered how she managed to deal with raising those three little boys to where they are now, while coping with whatever wrench her MS unpredictably threw into the works. She had managed to steer clear of self-absorption; her children, her travelling here today, her interest in my family, all testified to this strength. How dull I was in comparison. And as dullards will do, I launched into systematically answering her question about America's growing incontinence concerns. I thought she needed to know why she didn't have an exclusive corner on adult diapers market.
It is estimated that the first half of this century will see a 147% increase of senior citizens, people ages 65 and up. With their projected increase of life span, this means that a lot more Americans than ever before have already started to size up adult diapers. Incontinence is not an uncommon factor in aging and a social leveler, not choosy in its victims. I told Sherry that her positive attitude about the subject was something more people should profit from, that she should be an inspiration to people struggling with adapting to this new physical circumstance. Her insights and wisdom should be blogged and podcasted. I caught myself on this roll, realizing I hadn't really left my work at the office this weekend.
Thank goodness I stopped to take a breath. It was then that I noticed that my friend was fading in her chair. She had not flown hundreds of miles, enduring airports and airplanes with her two canes and a wheelchair to have someone tell her how she needed to champion a cause. She was here to gain strength from some familiar old faces she recognized from a time when she had known fewer cares. And what she was wanting right this moment was a guiding hand on her wheel chair on the way to the ladies' room. "Just wheel it to the door and dump the cripple in," she instructed. I stopped in my tracks, stunned at her words, until I caught a glimpse of her teasing smirk. Attitude is everything and Sherry, baby, you've got the right stuff. - 16890
About the Author:
Kate is an experienced senior caregiver and is the editor-in-chief of a growing online resource library that is aimed at educating and supporting anyone who is encountering incontinence, as a caregiver, or otherwise. Kate welcomes all readers to visit (and contribute) to this collection of how-to, tricks, support and even a little humor: Living With Adult Diapers and Incontinence.
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