Saturday, June 20, 2009

Grief and Loss Overview

By Maurice Turmel PhD

Grief and loss is a broad category that encompasses death and dying, grief recovery, grief resources and every type of loss imaginable. From losing a loved one to losing your job, grief and loss includes a variety of dimensions that affect each and every one of us in our daily lives.

Losing a loved one is what we typically associate with grief and loss. But losses of many types can also generate powerful grief reactions. We include here broken relationships, loss of a pet and loss of employment. When the loss experience strikes we immediately want relief and begin seeking some kind of recovery help.

Divorce, relationship breakup and death of a pet will generate powerful grief reactions. Losing one's home, employment and place of business are equally powerful in their grief and loss effects. We typically do not associate such losses with the grief and loss experience. It turns out that they do affect us in similar ways to the primary experience of losing a loved one.

This article aims to point out the many common denominators grief and loss reveals over all of the above related dimensions. We grief our loved ones. We mourn the loss of the family pet. We suffer over a recent breakup. We fall into depression over the loss of our job or business.

Whats at stake here? What is at the heart of the grief and loss experience? It is an emotional crisis characterized by deep feelings of hurt that are often masked with anger. We are feeling lost and afraid. Something precious has been taken away. We are hurting, depressed and anxious. All of these reactions are typically associated with every category of grief and loss.

Grief and loss, as a life experience, emerges in many aspects of our lives. Learning to relieve ourselves of stress via relevant grief recovery programs can have far reaching benefits. Recovering our usual bounce and drive is a worthy goal and significant benefit in grief recovery. Whatever we learn about dealing with grief and loss can be applied across its many dimensions and occurences.

The cycle of life includes gaining, losing and gaining again. For example, when a snake crawls into the tall grass to shed its old skin, it's because the new is emerging from underneath and pressing for release. Losses are typically categorized as devastating when, in fact, they are often a prelude to something better. Learning to let go, no matter what the cicumstances is a valuable life lesson.

Our biggest loss is always the death of a loved one. On a well known stress scale, this type of loss is just ahead of divorce and moving, two more examples of grief and loss. Learning to manage our daily losses, big and small, can well equip us for dealing with the big one when it inevitably strikes. A good grief resource becomes our most valuable guide during such circumstances and will lead us toward a healthy recovery.

Recovery from grief and loss, in all its varied forms, requires that we deal with our emotions. When we are emotionally vulnerable we can find a deeper meaning to life and acquire new and lasting friendships where we initially saw hurt and sorrow. Every loss carries a benefit, even if it takes years to uncover. Letting go emerges as grief and loss' primary lesson. - 16890

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